Yes, I know it’s “whoomp” in the song. But I don’t have “whoomping cough.” (That sounds kind of fun/party-starting!)
I have whooping cough—or pertussis, if you want to use the real name—and I’m not fond of it.
[IMPORTANT PSA: Even if you were vaccinated as a child (I was), you need to get a booster to have immunity. They’ve been lumping them in with tetanus boosters since 2006. If you’re not sure if you’re vaccinated, FIND OUT.]
I am trying to shut up and not whine about this, because I whined about “having bronchitis” and then it turned out I actually have something that can last three times longer.
(Apparently, pertussis is known as “the 100-day cough.” It lasts longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage! Heyyoooo, outdated cultural reference.)
On the bright side: I don’t feel awful all the time. The biggest problem so far has been trouble sleeping, but I learned last night that it helps to prop myself up on every pillow in the house so I’m pretty much sleeping upright.
Another plus: The doctor says I can run. I haven’t really wanted to since the not-sleeping started, but hopefully the pillow tower will solve that.
Another plus: I haven’t coughed hard enough to throw up or pass out yet. (Because that can happen. Blergh.)
For the uninformed: Pertussis starts like a normal cold, where you’re coughing like a normal person and having other symptoms for a few weeks. But then, you start coughing a different way—like the tickle in your throat won’t quit, and like something is clogging up your airways when you go to inhale between coughing fits. And that part lasts one to six (!) weeks. And it seems to be worst at night or when you lay down.
And during the part where you think you have a normal cold? You’re highly contagious. I had to send around an email to my coworkers being like, “Hey, I exposed you to this. Sorry.” And then I felt like the world’s biggest jerk.
But if I were the world’s biggest jerk, I wouldn’t have told anyone, so there.
In conclusion, this is how I feel today: