Great moments in hypochondria

I am wearing no makeup to work today. I don’t usually wear a lot, but I sport eyeliner and mascara so consistently that I feel like people don’t recognize me without it. Nevertheless, my face is naked today, and it’s not by choice. I am going for an MRI after work, and apparently the minerals in makeup can confuse the machine.


This will be me in just a few hours. Except I won't be a dude.

A week ago Tuesday, I was lifting weights and I did something wrong. My left arm felt asleep from the elbow down on and off all day. I figured I had pinched a nerve and went about my business. A week later, when it wasn’t feeling much better, I started Googling what this could mean. Tingling sensations in your limbs can be symptoms of a number of terrible things, including multiple sclerosis and Lou Gehrig’s Disease, so of course, I decided I must have one of those things. And when I decided this, my right arm started feeling weird, too. And my right leg.

I panicked and called the doctor. I got an appointment that afternoon. The doctor could see how much I was panicking – if I have MS I can’t run! who will I be if I can’t run? – and ordered a full battery of tests, including blood work and an MRI. The blood work has since come back normal, and most of my symptoms – except for the original left-arm tingling, which seems be a pinched ulnar nerve – have disappeared. I tried to tell this to the nurse who called with my blood test results, to see if I could get out of the MRI, but she insisted I go.

It will be good to be 100% sure I’m fine (assuming I am, knock wood), and once the doctor knows it’s a pinched nerve, she can hopefully tell me how to fix it. But, I still feel ridiculous. There’s nothing like an expensive and unnecessary medical service to brand you as a class-A hypochondriac. In high school, I woke up once in the middle of the night convinced that an ovary had burst. I couldn’t stand up without nearly fainting, so my mom called an ambulance. They gave me oxygen and I was fine. I probably just had a bad cramp, and then panicked my way into faintness.

I suppose it’s better to be a hypochondriac than someone who has all kinds of problems and never goes to the doctor. However, I’d rather just never have any health issues at all. Can you make that happen, body? Thanks.

I have been having internet problems at home, so don’t expect a lot of posts until I get that fixed. I think it’s my computer as my Roku is working fine. Anyone in the Lehigh Valley with extensive tech knowledge (or an extra wireless router I can borrow) – please contact me.


About Meghan Loftus
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