The linty blanket from hell

My old apartment never seemed to warm up. We used to keep the heat set at 70, which felt more like 63. When my roommate moved out in December, I started keeping it much lower to cut costs. To compensate, I brought out a set of flannel sheets and a fuzzy blanket I had deemed too warm to use in the past.

Huge mistake.

Sure, this combination allowed me to sleep more comfortably. But when I went to move my things to my new apartment, I noticed an unfortunate side-effect: The fuzzy blanket had left tiny balls of tan lint all over my comforter.

See how the lint clings to my bedskirt? I will never be rid of it.

It took me about a month to realize why my clothes kept getting covered in unsightly lint. “I’ll just break out the lint roller and that’ll be that,” I thought. Wrong. This lint was like none other I had ever encountered. I went through sheet after sheet of lint-roller paper, and though the sheets were picking up fuzz, the areas of my comforter I had rolled managed to remain covered.

I threw the comforter in my dryer, in the hopes that the lint trap would perform as advertised. It didn’t.

I spread it out on my floor, wondering how to proceed. I discovered that pulling the material taut, pressing down firmly, and using a wax-on-wax-off motion caused the lint to band together into spiderweb-like strands that could be easily removed. I could only do this to about a three-inch square of comforter at once, and it’s queen-sized. After sweating through this process for about 15 minutes, and having Nermal attack my hand more than once, I gave up.

I went into my room, where the fuzzy blanket from hell sat in a heap on the floor, and stuffed it into a giant plastic bag. The bag went into the trunk in my living room. (I feel guilty throwing it out, and even guiltier giving it to charity. I don’t want anyone to be plagued by lint as I have been.)

I have eradicated most of the lint...for now. Nermal is pleased.

I replaced it with a lightweight blanket I had used through the summer, and I replaced my comforter – now in plastic under my bed, until I can de-lint it – with a new blanket from Target. Even so, I still find fuzz clinging to my dark clothes, especially these black pants I recently purchased that make my butt look awesome (when it’s not covered in lint, anyway). I wish I had just kept the heat set at 70.


About Meghan Loftus
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